silly-shay

just rambling

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a f t e r s h o c k by silly-shay, literature

Literature

a f t e r s h o c k

I remember when you were on your pedestal and I used to wave and gawk at you while bowing at your holy feet. You walked, so gracefully then and I wanted to be you. A heroin, blessed by Aphrodite a treasure to the eyes, a drug to the mind, a real gift in every way. You were a goddess of sorts, overcoming any battle with ease. I followed in your golden footsteps simply hoping to grow into them and be everything you were. With every year that passed, I seemed to get closer to that goal. I watched you, and I learned you, most importantly, I was becoming you. Then, your pedestal crumbled to the ground. I watched, caught in the aftershock, with i

Rearrange by silly-shay, literature

Literature

Rearrange

Tugging on loops and prying, pulling. Struggle to unwind these knots that are rolling through my gut like tumbleweeds. Ghost town empty hollow place now but when last full, pathetic. Oh, knots. unwind, untwine.. Mind like bricks excessive and awkward. Oh, gullible bricks. Overflow of thoughts forcing face to pavement.. Eye to eye. Your lowest point and mine. Unbinding you before I. Pushing you up yet being crushed. Attempts to be a savior, can it be changed? Your bricks where my knots lie and instead, tangled mind.. Throwing me down, consuming, spitting out bones. Soul imprisoned til the letting go.

Attention by silly-shay, literature

Literature

Attention

Emerging from behind curtains, spotlight on me to do what's right. And I can feel my brain bouncing off these cold white walls (leaving impressions that no one will be able to forget) and finally coming to rest at the door, throwing the last of it's belongings in a tattered suit case and then escaping me. The crowd still looks forward, anticipating the next move from a girl who's mind walked out on her. I just stand there, tongue-tied. (you would too, without a brain) And like some miracle, I begin to move... twirling like a child wanting to get dizzy so they can flop on their back and watch the clouds make imaginary f

Sway by silly-shay, literature

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More Dirty Laundry by silly-shay, literature

a f t e r s h o c k by silly-shay, literature

Literature

a f t e r s h o c k

Rearrange by silly-shay, literature

Literature

Rearrange

Allison by silly-shay, literature

Literature

Allison

Maturity. Grasp it, little one! Hold on tightly. Do it. Now! Let your childhood fly by. Hold on to handles of life and live. Grow! Hold on and grow. Age the same, Intelligence skyrocketing. Stay strong! Rushed years of unknowing… Let them go. Throw away your youth! Be old, be smart, don't be you. Hold on, little one. Don't let go! For if you do, Their world will crash around you.

the unspeakable by silly-shay, literature

Literature

the unspeakable

senseless beatings and smothered crys instead of hugs and lullabys a mothers hand meeting a childs cheek she hits him hard because she is weak a wooden paddle hits a babys rear deafening screams infest mommys ears an unlawful act ends in pain the woman didnt plan to go insane but poor little bobby didnt behave and now selfish mommy cant be saved baby rests his head in his pillow to cry his mother comes in to apologize in her head, she knows she was wrong so she enters his safe haven to sing a goodnight song she wraps her arms around him tight but mommy didnt do what was right bobby realizes he cant take one more night in his

everytime i turn around by silly-shay, literature

Literature

everytime i turn around

for one minute, stop thinking of yourself. stay right there. dont move. another drink is not important. your medication can wait 10 minutes. you dont need more cigarettes. the house is perfectly clean for the time being. the television isnt too loud. the kids are behaving. your day wasnt that hard, so theres no need for a nap. theres a need for love. not friendly love. not pretend love. real, mother/daughter love. because sometimes, when we're alone, i need a simple hug but fear its too much to ask for. on occasion, i want to talk to you... i NEED to talk to you. and it ends up getting put off. i want to hear that you love me. not

nyc by silly-shay, literature

Literature

nyc

no more tears will be shed (ive cried too much already) no more effort will be wasted to fit in amongst you and your "friends" (they were mine to begin with) no more nights will be spent talking to you (words i speak dont matter anyway) no more plans will be made with you (they always seem to fall through) no more help from me (i bet that makes you feel alone) no more asking for advice (i can get it somewhere else) no more caring (because you obviously dont care about me)

used toy by silly-shay, literature

Literature

used toy

i sit here again. alone. just like i do every other night. but this time, its different. im supposed to be with you. laughing, talking, bonding. just like things were before, together till the end. friends. twins. blood. no more. tables have turned. new love and new friendship have created new differences. forever changing. ideas of hate forced upon your mind by some strange, inanimate being... they left me here, crushed and gasping for air. struggling to live as we once did. friends. twins. blood? no more. whats left? tell me! betrayel? stabbing of turned backs? cotton stuffing peeking out of your "toys" heart where th

i am l2l by silly-shay, literature

Literature

i am l2l

I am alone in this life. I wonder why no one cares. I hear that I am weak. I see my actions and overreactions. I want to be different. I am alone in this life. I pretend to be someone else. I feel happy in their shoes. I worry that I'll never be happy in my own. I am alone in this life. I understand my thoughts but sometimes I don't. I say I need help but no one listens. I dream about being strong. I try to make my dreams come true. I hope and pray to change, by myself if I have to. I am alone in this life.

peeping tom by silly-shay, literature

Literature

peeping tom

I live you. I breathe you. I feel you. I think you. I practically am you. I want you. I need you. I miss you. I love you. We're going to be together forever. I see you. I hear you. I watch you. I follow you. I can't help but stalk you. Can I be you? Too late, I am. Can we last forever? Too late. I've made that decision. Can I please stalk you? Too late. I'm already outside the window.

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An Ode to Sybian by ladynyk, literature

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Rearrange by silly-shay, literature

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silly-shay

About silly-shay

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Artist // Hobbyist // Literature

United States
Deviant for 21 years
She / Her

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My Bio

i am not the same as i was when i started here an insecure teenager 12 years ago. i have become a strong woman. i have found a love that is true, and durable, and greater than i could have ever imagined. i have found joy that was missing from my life in my children's eyes. i have grown in so many ways, and i love the person who i've become most of the time which is more than i have ever been able to say for myself.

this page represents a journey to me...it is my past balled up into photos and words and phrases and memories. i can't say that it will be updated often, if at all. but it will remain here for as long as it's allowed and i'll check in from time to time if anything just to reminisce or to say hello. thanks to those who still follow me and have supported me and my life all of these years. i love and treasure you all, even if it's from afar. xox

Favourite Visual Artist

jasinski, possumtoy, minix

Favourite Movies

the family stone, anything marvel, divergent.

Favourite TV Shows

walking dead, game of thrones, survivor.

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

sister hazel, incubus, joss stone, sia.

Favourite Books

perks of being a wallflower.

Favourite Writers

rebelchic, radiantflux, d-mon, ladynyk

Favourite Games

COD, skylanders and minecraft with my babies :)

Favourite Gaming Platform

computer, ps3, ps4

Tools of the Trade

Pencil, Pen, Paper, Computer, Camera

Other Interests

Christopher, my amazing babies, FAMILY, friends, music, writing, drawing, singing, the beach,camping, gaming, gardening

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silly-shay

Apr 13, 2015

well, it has been an incredibly long time and amazing journey since i've been here. just showing some love to you amazing people i once knew. xox

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silly-shay

Aug 17, 2002

Aunt Bev 8/15/02

0 min read

ok. so...back to life as it one was. no more funerals. no more pain. no more feeling as tho i could vomit. no more tears. no more. no more. no more. and its pretty good to have that all behind me. of course, it really isnt...behind me. its going to be on my mind for quite a while. but i was glad to get things over with as selfish as it sounds. something about it seemed very unreal. i kept expecting for it to be someone else in that casket. not my aunt bev. it couldnt be. but the tears flowing from robin and jennys eyes proved me wrong. because my aunt had cancer, they really didnt want an open casket viewing. she had looked horrible when she

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Profile Comments 99

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d-mon

Nov 29, 2010

Holy crap, I never get on here anymore. GREAT to hear from you! It's pretty amazing how life goes? How are you? If you wanna actually talk to me sometime and you have facebook, I am on there a bit...facebook/derek.wheaton

I would love to catch up sometime!!!

d-mon

Jul 20, 2004

SIS! OMG I MISSED YA!

Happy Holidays

The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of life: your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you, he said. They're freeing your soul. So, if you're frightened of dying and... and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.

no seriously you would be free. unrestricted.

Thankyou SO much!

::if someone threw a can off red fusion off a cliff, I would follow, and still drink it before I hit the bottom, then die happy::

needless

Sep 15, 2003

RED FUSION IS MY FRIEND >=]